Tuesday, August 5, 2008

To the Beach or Not...

My mom and I are trying to decide whether or not we should head down to the beach for the weekend. You might read that sentence and think it is a no brainer- come on the beach. I also feel this way, but am having such a hard time leaving my husband and my dogs. They are such a healing comfort to me and it is not easy task to leave, (and picturing me in a bathing suit right now does not look that good either). Decisions are some of the hardest things for me in the present moment; what to make for dinner, what to wear, where to go, what to do, are just a few examples of everyday decisions that are so hard for me. I at this point want to go, but also am aware that when I get home Kevin must take his first business trip to Texas, so it would be our first official week apart from each other since losing Judah and that is so hard. What to do? I just don’t know. I do dream about the waves and warm sun, feeling as though this would be such a healing experience for me. We shall see.