Saturday, July 28, 2018

Storms that for a Moment Calm.

Glory to betsy it's been a while...this is why I could never be a professional author or blogger....well that and I just had to correct my spelling on author...there is no e. Bless.

Since my last post life has been so extra sweet. Both boys doing so unbelievably well. Unbelievably. Well. I sometimes feel like the last year is filled with brief nightmares but that's all it was...brief. I look at my growing boys today and I see strong, courageous, wild, boys. They are taking on the world and I am so excited I get to be on the sidelines watching them play the game of their lives.

Medicine is still a part of our everyday but it is not a focal point of our day. It is but a moment, in fact it's such not a big deal that they hop in the kitchen and dispense medicine to each other and move on. We are not fearful or held captive by the small bottle that has provided a bit of stability in our lives. It is not lost on me that that small little bottle was a miracle by Jesus. What was once intimidating and scary has become the catapult for health and living life to the fullest! One without fear, anxiety, anger and confusion. Medicine, it is a gift, it is a light, it is a small raft in the raging storms....But the sun and calm waves we are experiencing in this season, well that alone is Jesus.  He provided a raft then turned to the angry seas and said "May it be calm."

We might experience the waves pick up again, I have no doubt the the storm may rage again, that is what this life is...raging storms and calming seas. And sometimes it's both, raging storms and a peace that you can't explain through the raging storm.

So whats next. Well, we will continue this moment and not change anything just yet. One of the boys was doing so amazing that we thought we could drop the medication to half, however, we both- he and us- realized that no, it was not time and he needed the extra half. We celebrated that we could communicate this and moved on. Done and Done.

It is hard to believe that my once 3,3,2, and 1 year olds are now almost 9, 8, 6, 5 year olds! Let me tell you friends, we are in a new season. A new season of sleeping past 6 am, of getting dressed, putting on shoes, cleaning rooms, putting away laundry, eating full meals at the dinner table, sports, independence and one who continually asks "Think I'll go through the 'Big change' this year?" Which my sister so creatively named for puberty. Bless it all. Literally he comes to my face shoves his armpit and my nose and wants to know- "Does it smell like the big change mom?"  Glory Bless. I always say "No son, and stop rushing it...you will be awkward and stink for many years- lets not go there just yet."

School. Well, if you didn't know 4 Wild Oaks will be bringing home two more students. Karsten and Asa will joined the crew this year. Who knew. I absolutely adore having them home.

******Disclosure*******
                            This is the part of the post where I so kindly (Boldly, grab your face, make eye contact and make sure you HEAR me) tell you that homeschooling is NOT for everyone. And if you choose public, private, charter or whatever school, you are doing the RIGHT thing. You can't read this and think "Oh gosh I should be homeschooling..." If this provides guilt in your heart close out now and STOP reading.

Seriously. STOP IT. Do not compare. Do not question. Do not doubt.  We do that enough on Fakebook and Instafake.


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Now, We have not actually started school and we will not be starting until after Jaden's birthday on August 14th, why? Because I can...we can...and (I) want to.

This year will be a big year, I am not absolutely even sure I can homeschool all 4...and I have to teach two of them to read and one to write well...that is huge. So the pressure feels much higher as I approach our second year. But overall, I love them home, I don't get tired of them...

Back that train up....

I get tired of the bickering, fighting, picking, crying, screaming, fussing, complaining, never ending brotherly fights.....

And if we are going to be honest and real- which you know I will, I have a lovely little pill I swallow every night that helps with the above listings.

But I actually genuinely love having them home with me. I love being apart of their learning and actually learning right along side of them. I am memorizing my multiplication facts just as they are. So for this year I have such a peace that this is the best thing for each of them. Next year? I can't even go there.

Jesus is always so patient and grace filled when it comes to this very inconsistent, fearful, and not always obedient daughter. I am so thankful that He catches me each and everyday as I stumble, fall and crawl my way through this life.