Sunday, May 9, 2010

Heavenly

video

This is what I came down to this morning (this and a new laptop so I can blog more hopefully!)!

I know today is painful for many who stop by my blog, so please know I understand if you are unable to view this...

I wanted to share with you though where God has brought me. There were two distinct moments in my life that I truly believe shaped me into who I am. One was a relationship that I was in and ended very badly, I remember right before it I knew it was not in a Godly place, I fell before the Father with my arms stretched out, "if this is not what YOU want I don't want it, as painful as it is I know you will bring a greater joy!!" This was said through tears and heart ache, not long after that moment God brought my Kevin into my life and my world has never been the same. I can't express to you the love I have for my husband, it is greater and deeper then anything I could ever imagine...

The second was after my second loss and third year of waiting, I fell before the Lord once again only this time I was so fearful of the prayer I was going to pray...."I know Lord if I let it Go, if I offer it to you and you say no I am going to believe that once again you have a greater joy...." I lived my next year in a state of complete surrender, that if it was not meant to be there was something greater God had for me...not long after that moment God brought Jaden, and the NEXT day I found out about Tyler!

I don't write this as the answer, but I do write this as an encouragement! God will always come with a greater joy, and the sun always shines brighter after a storm!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Adoption/Pregnancy

As always I have wanted to update for some time now but as you all know, having two babies…well enough said!

Over the last few months there have been so many times when I am up with Ty and I write a blog in my head, lately (although Ty has slept through the night 5 nights in a row, I will take every one I can get!!!) it has been the same topic of adoption/pregnancy.

When I am out with the boys I constantly get the same responses…
Stranger “oh look twins?”
Me “kind of, they are 18 weeks apart…”
Stranger (if they are smart…some just think this is possible I guess) “oh…wow…how???”
Me “we adopted and got pregnant…”
Stranger (and I PROMISE YOU IT NEVER FAILS) “oh isn’t that how it happens, I have heard of that happening so many times…”

I use to argue it a bit by responding that is DOES NOT always happens that way, but lately I am tired of trying to explain that it is a miracle, and just nod my head… So here are my thoughts on this topic.

Fact: Kevin and I did not set out to adopt to get pregnant.
Fact: Kevin and I did not choose adoption as our second choice.
Fact: Kevin and I stopped trying (started using protection!) when we found out of the possibility of Jaden

I say these things because adopting does not always land you pregnant, it is not a reason to adopt and it is not the reason Kevin and I adopted. God had ordained Jaden as ours, he chose to place Jaden in Liesl, Jaden was never a mistake, Jaden’s life was ordained by God!

Ty was conceived by a miracle, we were not trying, I had tried for 11 months and had not gotten pregnant, I ovulated on my left side, the side without a tube. Ty’s life was ordained, Ty is a miracle and it was all Gods timing, not ours, Ty was not conceived because Kevin and I chose to adopt!

There are MANY couples who adopt and still never conceive, it is exhausting to them to constantly hear, “well if you adopt you will get pregnant”, that is a false and an untrue statement, and sometimes a very painful statement, as if the adoption was in some way or form a last resort for becoming parents, which is NOT the case!
I truly believe that God chose for us to have the boys so close together because He was showing us His power, His timing, and His divine plan. He was removing all human influences so you had to step back and realize it was only by the Hand of GOD!!!