Tuesday, April 19, 2016

I see.

Oh bless. Jesus. You are so captivating in the most astounding ways. You use my fleshly struggles to see my need for more of your breathing, life changing spirit. I see. When my 2.5 year old took a rock to my van, his precious face devastated by his Mamas fierce anger. His innocent help of "washing" the van was a $1,000 worth of damage. It was bad. But it was worst that my flesh flashed into overdrive anger. "Oh Jesus I want to be more like you" it is a daily cry of the deepest parts of my heart. And He is showing me through my 2.5 year old. I want more Jesus. I want so much more of you. I know that daily I come to you with rocks and stones and scratches and dents where I have so innocently tried to make something better only letting my human flesh make more of a mess. Yet never do you see my hearts honest try and respond with Anger. Oh Jesus you see the beauty of me trying, you see my hearts desire to make it better. You step back, you look at the scratched van and your face lights up with joy. You cup my face, I realize I have made a mess I began to weep, you wipe my tears, lift my face up and dance with joy. "Don't you see child, I'll take this mess and make it my beauty..." 
I am pressing in deep into the Fathers heart, may I respond to my child the way My Father responds to me. 

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Small words for a big story....

When I go to write about this I feel as though I am swimming in a sea of words. There are so many words that could be used to describe our journey, but honestly...they are not, well they feel like they are not adequate or anointed or good enough. I wonder, if the scholars of Scripture often felt the same way. 

We had an opportunity to share our story.  It is such a gift to me, however. I still feel as though we failed at truly describing the sweet journey of our boy Jaden. His life, chosen, wanted, fought for. He is a little boy with BIG life journies ahead of him. How I got chosen to be his mama I will never know. 

Our journey is still not complete and I believe Gods redemptive love will shine through as He unfolds our story. For now. My heart loves these women who feel as though there is one choice. We cannot forget the women as we set out to save the baby. In fact I believe with my whole heart we are called to love the woman to save the baby. This is a life passion for me. But for now, God is calling me to stay focused on the path He has me on, the path of raising these small warriors of Gods Kingdom. 
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