Tuesday, April 19, 2016

I see.

Oh bless. Jesus. You are so captivating in the most astounding ways. You use my fleshly struggles to see my need for more of your breathing, life changing spirit. I see. When my 2.5 year old took a rock to my van, his precious face devastated by his Mamas fierce anger. His innocent help of "washing" the van was a $1,000 worth of damage. It was bad. But it was worst that my flesh flashed into overdrive anger. "Oh Jesus I want to be more like you" it is a daily cry of the deepest parts of my heart. And He is showing me through my 2.5 year old. I want more Jesus. I want so much more of you. I know that daily I come to you with rocks and stones and scratches and dents where I have so innocently tried to make something better only letting my human flesh make more of a mess. Yet never do you see my hearts honest try and respond with Anger. Oh Jesus you see the beauty of me trying, you see my hearts desire to make it better. You step back, you look at the scratched van and your face lights up with joy. You cup my face, I realize I have made a mess I began to weep, you wipe my tears, lift my face up and dance with joy. "Don't you see child, I'll take this mess and make it my beauty..." 
I am pressing in deep into the Fathers heart, may I respond to my child the way My Father responds to me. 

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