Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Daniel Bradley

One of the greatest gifts God has given me is Daniel. He is a brother to me and I have had the privilege to walk along side Daniel and his family as God has performed miracle after miracle with Daniel! Daniel is starting to write down his journey- he wants to share his story with others. Please check out his new website I get together with Daniel weekly and that is when we will try and update it! It is worth passing along and reading. Hope you are all challenged and inspired as I am by Daniels story!

Monday, April 28, 2008

30 minute till

I am on my way to the dr. in a few minutes and I wanted to sit down once more and write out my thoughts. I was up until 2:30am last night with some cramping. This of course brings on the ifs, remembering the past, and of course fear. All of these things are not of the Lord. I have really been struggling with staying focused on the Lord, he has done this amazing thing for us and now I am fearful, WHY? Many of you would probably tell me that it is okay to be scared, I mean I almost lost my life last time, but i cannot allow Satan to take my joy. No matter what happens to me I believe in a big God, and I know everything is in his hands, his control and I know that he loves me and this baby. I refuse to live in the past, to stay there in fear and not enjoy this baby for as long as God allows me to carry them. I pray with my whole heart that I get to bring this baby to its earthly home, that we get to look into their eyes and see who we think they look like. But this baby is not mine, they are the Lords from day one I must leave my hands open. I want this child to have a heart for the Lord so I freely give this child back to God daily. I will be honored if the Lord allows Kevin and I the privilege of being this child's parents, but ultimately God is this child's father, he has the final say in this child's life. I believe this is something I will be grasping for the rest of my life!

My heart is so overwhelmed with joy and anticipation of the days, weeks, months and years to come!

Friday, April 25, 2008

April 25 2008

Well, what can I say I am in complete awe of Gods power. I am writing this post but will probably not post it for a couple of weeks. If you are reading this post now then you are just finding out that I am pregnant! I wanted to write down my thoughts only have found out a couple of minutes ago so I wont forget what I am feeling in this moment.


I got up this morning and it is day 41 in my cycle with only a little cramping but still no sign pregnancies. I decided I would go ahead and take a test just to make sure. Kevin is a smart husband and after a couple of months after we lost Eddie he noticed how many pregnancies tests we went through. So he got online and order packs 25, they are tests without the plastic and have no real name brand...they are kind of funny but I sure go through them. I decided just to use one of those, it came up neg. pretty quick and as always I was disappointed and through it into the trash and went about my day.


I went by to see Daniel Bradley and Wendy. They have been such huge believers and encourager's in my life. They remind me all the time to not put my faith in what I see. Wendy asked how I was doing and if I had gotten my period yet. I told her no but I also told her that my pregnancies tests were coming up negative. She and Daniel of course rebuked those words and said they do not put their trust in pregnancies test but in the Lord. Daniel also reminded me that doubt always enters when we are not in the Lords presence and I really had not been in the Lords presence the past couple of days, I have been letting satan remind me of the past and hold me there. Satan has no power over us, I quench every fiery dart the wicked one slays against me......


Kevin and I have been having a relaxing evening. not much happening at all. We were getting ready to leave to go walk around Lowes so I ran upstairs to go to bathroom, I decided to check the pregnancy test -- I really cannot tell you why but I dug it out of the trash and held up and what to do I see but a positive preg. test. I called Kevin upstairs disbelief of what I was seeing. He was not sure what to think either so I quick pulled out a regular pregnancy test of of the closet to see what it would say. As Kevin and I waited those few seconds we could not believe what our eyes were seeing. There on the pregnancy test were two beautiful lines making a beautiful cross! It was positive.


I am amazed, why do we doubt our big and amazing God? We had specifically prayed that this would be the month that I was pregnant, that I would not have to get my fallopian tube tested...and I am. It was so unexpected which is exactly how the Lord loves to work~

We will keep you posted on this new journey of ours!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Oh what a day...

Oh the Joy......

I got my front tooth pulled and now I have braces for 18 months, look like I am 15 and as I left the Doctors the nurse said, "Oh Beth, think about is like having two pregnancies back to back...."

I responded "I would much rather have two pregnancies then this...."

I will keep my head up and my eyes on Christ, my beauty does not come from outward appearance but from within, my encouragement does not come from Mans mouth but the mouth of the Lord

"We wait in HOPE for the Lord;

he is our help and our shield.

In him our hearts REJOICE,

for we trust in His holy name.

May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord

even as we put our hope in you."

Psalm 33:20-22

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

What a blessing...

I had such a good time with my best friend Jamie and her husband Brian, and there little 6mo old daughter Charlotte Rose! Here is a recap of the amazing weekend

This is Charlotte Trying on her new outfit from Aunt B, it looked really cute but did not fit her in the legs...she could only stand in it!

This is Jamie meeting Little Kai:

Saturday, April 12, 2008


Our good friend Jamie and Brian and there little 6mo old girl came to visit us from PA. They arrived early....early this morning. Jamie called to let me know how close they were, they were about 2 hrs away. As I laid awake in bed anticipating there arrival I could not help but think that maybe I was pregnant. Sometimes during these long months my mind and body plays tricks on me, and sometimes I really feel as though I am pregnant. I try not to get my hopes up but for two weeks Kevin and I will really think that maybe this is the month. I am having one of those months, so as I laid in bed I kept praying to the Lord "please this month, please..." I decided to end my anxious thoughts and get up and take a pregnancy test. I enjoy doing them when no one knows because then I am the only one disappointed and holding the truth for that moment. As I was getting ready to get out of bed God laid Psalm22:5 on my heart, so before I began my journey in the bathroom I ran downstairs to grab my Bible. As I opened up to this chapter it dawned on me that this is the very same chapter God gave me right after he took home our first born. I begin to get emotional as I remembered reading this not long ago. Vrs 5 goes on to say "they cried to you and were saved, in you they trusted and were not disappointed" after reading this I was convinced that God had given that verse to me because I was about to find out that I was pregnant. As I waited the few seconds for the test to register one or two lines I held it high into the air and prayed in my heart" I believe God, I believe that you can work miracles I believe it is your desire for me to pregnant and in you we will never be disappointed..." I brought the test down to eye level and opened my eyes, once again in my hands laid a negative test. What do you do in that moment? It is always a choice, it is also a choice when we find out that someone else just got pregnant, and really did not try hard at is a choice to either curse God because he did not "Perform" the way I asked him to or to praise him because you truly believe in your heart and in that moment that if you trust in God you WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED. I truly believe that we will not be disappointed because Kevin and I believe in God, we believe in his power, his love and his infinite wisdom. So even though I cried, even though it is hard, even though it feels as though our turn will never come, I will praise him. But please for me and Kevin if you have children give them an extra hug, hold on to them tight, and praise the Lord for them. And the next time you think about complaining about a late night, or inconvenience of your children take a second and think about the couples who would give anything for a sleepless night to just hear their baby cry.