Saturday, May 1, 2010

Adoption/Pregnancy

As always I have wanted to update for some time now but as you all know, having two babies…well enough said!

Over the last few months there have been so many times when I am up with Ty and I write a blog in my head, lately (although Ty has slept through the night 5 nights in a row, I will take every one I can get!!!) it has been the same topic of adoption/pregnancy.

When I am out with the boys I constantly get the same responses…
Stranger “oh look twins?”
Me “kind of, they are 18 weeks apart…”
Stranger (if they are smart…some just think this is possible I guess) “oh…wow…how???”
Me “we adopted and got pregnant…”
Stranger (and I PROMISE YOU IT NEVER FAILS) “oh isn’t that how it happens, I have heard of that happening so many times…”

I use to argue it a bit by responding that is DOES NOT always happens that way, but lately I am tired of trying to explain that it is a miracle, and just nod my head… So here are my thoughts on this topic.

Fact: Kevin and I did not set out to adopt to get pregnant.
Fact: Kevin and I did not choose adoption as our second choice.
Fact: Kevin and I stopped trying (started using protection!) when we found out of the possibility of Jaden

I say these things because adopting does not always land you pregnant, it is not a reason to adopt and it is not the reason Kevin and I adopted. God had ordained Jaden as ours, he chose to place Jaden in Liesl, Jaden was never a mistake, Jaden’s life was ordained by God!

Ty was conceived by a miracle, we were not trying, I had tried for 11 months and had not gotten pregnant, I ovulated on my left side, the side without a tube. Ty’s life was ordained, Ty is a miracle and it was all Gods timing, not ours, Ty was not conceived because Kevin and I chose to adopt!

There are MANY couples who adopt and still never conceive, it is exhausting to them to constantly hear, “well if you adopt you will get pregnant”, that is a false and an untrue statement, and sometimes a very painful statement, as if the adoption was in some way or form a last resort for becoming parents, which is NOT the case!
I truly believe that God chose for us to have the boys so close together because He was showing us His power, His timing, and His divine plan. He was removing all human influences so you had to step back and realize it was only by the Hand of GOD!!!

7 comments:

Andrea said...

Amen!

Yes, your boys are both "gifts" from God :)

So glad you wrote this post, as people often get it SO wrong. They think adoption paves the way for pregnancy...well, it doesn't work like that and I've argued the subject as well.

HUGS and so happy you all are doing well :)

DeniFay said...

So true Beth, thank you for sharing, from someone who truly knows the miracle of both!!

Sammy said...

What a great post because that's my life!
The amount of times people have linked adopting with my pregnancy has made me tired.
Reuben is a miracle and baby girl is a miracle. We fell pregnant through a LOT of treatment. Yes, God breathed on a cluster of cells and I fell pregnant, but it was not beacuse we adopted (or I relaxed or whatever)
Each child is a miracle, distinct and unique.
So glad you are having such a great time with your boys xxx

Jesse and Mandy Peterson said...

Amen!

Bernardeena said...

Amen indeed! God definitely has bigger plans and sees a bigger picture then we do, but sometimes people have the strangest ideas.

Stacey said...

Oh I imagine that those comments must get old. I'm so glad you wrote this post! I can't think of how many times I myself have heard, "If you adopt then you'll get pregnant!" Thanks for this sweet and educational post. Your boys are indeed miracle babies that God ordained for you, for such a time as this!

Becky said...

Amen! I am so glad you wrote this post. I really wish people would realize the implications of what they are saying when they say this. It is if they are saying an adoptive child is a means to an end or a way to manipulate God into getting what you really want (not what I really want, but what they assume I really want). What I want is God's will for our family. Your two little miracles remind me that His will is better than anything I could plan for myself.