Sunday, August 17, 2008

I Know...

I know that I am hard to talk to, I am sure you wonder if you have said the right thing or the wrong thing or if saying nothing at all was the best choice.

I know that I am overly sensitive, emotional, and unpredictable these days- I get it, sometimes I don’t even know the right thing to say to myself, so I understand how you might not know.

I know you wonder if you should come around or stay away, say something or nothing at all, mention my baby’s names or say no names, encourage or just listen.

I know you have great news, I know you are pregnant, how wonderful.

I know it will bring new grief to Kevin and my journey.

I know this is when it gets hard; I don’t want to know but need to know- I might cry, I might laugh, I might not do or say anything- but I do need to know.

I know- you must wonder how to say it, when to say it, or to say it all-

I do know that it is most painful when no one says anything; it hurts worse, and stings more because I must find out through the grapevine.

I know I can’t make it easier for you, and I can’t make it easier for me, it is just the boat Kevin and I are in-

I know I might not seem it, but I am happy for you- please just understand how hard this is for me, please see through my actions to my heart.

I know I am not around, and it is for many reasons, but right now your joy, is my sorrow.
I know I can’t change this- and I am learning this is okay.

I know I would never wish this journey on anyone, but I would not change it for anything.
I know, but it would be nice if you told me….
I know…


Jill said...

That gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for writing this.

Stacey said...

What a wonderful, true, and heartbreaking post. You put something I have felt many times into such lovely and honest words. Thank you!

(P.S. Found you on Stirrup Queens)

Anonymous said...

I'm visiting from the creme list. Wow... How very beautiful and heart wrenchingly true at the same time. I can totally relate as two very close co-workers are both pregnant right now.

Choicemumtobe said...

Beautiful Creme post. Thank you.

Patricia said...

Via la Creme...

A lovely, honest post. I get it that people don't know what to say and I loved your generous spirit when they say the "wrong" thing. Your request that they

please see through my actions to my heart

is beautiful.

Thank you for sharing this with the Creme.