Monday, September 22, 2008

Being A Player

This part 2 of the preivious post I'm Inside, Outside, Upright Downright, a Mess of ... Thanks for coming along!

I know that many of you read my writing about the Lost Sheep, about being an “audience.” You are probably thinking to yourself, I don’t want to be in the audience but I don’t know how to help her, she won’t receive my help.

As I watched Football with Kevin yesterday I could not help but look at the huge audience watching the game, I would hear them cheer when the Broncos did something good, and boo when they were upset about a play. I looked on the field and saw a select group of men playing, a group sitting on the bench, the coach, assistant couch, the trainers, the people who squirt water in the mouths of the players, the diehard fans, the season fans, the fans of the other team, the camera crew, the people who held up a flag, and let’s not forget the cheerleaders!

In each of our lives we are in the game of our own journey, and each of us is in other games with other people’s journey. We have different roles for different people in our lives. In one friend’s life you might be the defense, playing right on the field, in another friends life you might be a cheerleader, there to do nothing more than cheer your teammate on bad or good! Or maybe you are just a diehard fan. Each of us has different roles in different lives.

What is most sad is when you are unhappy with the role God has asked you to play- you want to be something other then what he has called you. You want to be the coach, calling the play- rather the one squirting water in the mouth of the player. So you give up, mosey on back to your seat and just sit there, watching your friend slowly drift away. I am sorry that not everyone can be right in the “game” with me, but I need you to see that if you are willing to play no matter the role then you are an intricate detail, intricate part! I need prayers, cheering, understanding, freedom, space, cards, emails, flowers. I can’t tell how much it speaks to my heart when I receive and email like this…(This is from a dear friend who has never walked the path of loosing a child...)

I love your pictures on your new blog! Thank you for sharing; you
really do have a gift. I am sorry to hear that you're not sleeping
well. I will be praying that God will physically let you feel his
presence, wrapped in Jesus' arms, so you can have a peaceful night
sleep. I'm glad to hear that Kevin returned safely. We sure do miss
you guys.
I continue to pray that God bonds you through this journey, heals your broken hearts and reveals His precious will to your hearts and minds. Take care,

Sometimes I just need an encouragement, letting me know you are thinking and praying for me is the best healing ointment to my broken heart.

Have faith in my relationship with the Lord, in my journey, in Kevin. Know that Kevin is often times my voice, my ears, and my eyes, he is the greatest gift God could have ever given me. He often, and most times, read my emails before I even get them, this is the relationship we have with one another. If he calls you for me, it is my voice coming through (a bit deeper and sexier I think!), because we are one! How awesome is our God to create a relationship that mirrors his relationship with us!

Be encouraged by this blog, pray how God might ask you to play in my game, or in someone else’s game, and if you don’t know then ask me, I will most likely tell you I need lots of prayers and hugs, and I am not one to shy away from a gift or a good plate of cookies!!!!!


Michelle Hill said...

Thinking of you and praying for each day!!
Love ya,

Lisa said...

Thank you for your blogs--especially these last two. I am one of those who never knows what to say--mainly because I have no idea what you are going through, but also because I doubt that you would remember me.

But I pray for you. Every morning as I drive to work I say a prayer for you and Kevin. Every time God puts you on my mind, I pray for you. I know it's all best in his hands.

So know that although I don't have the words to share with you, I am praying for you--knowing that God will share with you all you need.


Stacey said...

Both you and your blog are a treasure to me! Thank you for continuing to write from your heart.


Anonymous said...


I finally had the chance to read your blog. So well have a special way of using analogies to describe what you are thinking and feeling. Anyway, I know you know this, but if I ever try to play a role that I'm not suppossed to please let me know. Oh, Beth, there are somedays that I want so badly to just take away your pain. But I know that even the pain is something to treasure when losing a child. I miss you soooo much! It is time. I can tell when our time together is getting close, I start to get very excited and even a little giddy. Only a few more weeks and then we will have some much needed time together.
Love you Beth!

Jamin & Susan Hendrix said...

i am so proud of you bethie.
thank you for being you, right where you are.

you are a blessing.
you are perfect.

love you.

A Voice of One... of the Disenchanted. said...

You are such a blessing Beth. Know that I truly am praying for you daily. I live just a bit too far away to bring you a plate of cookies, or a hug ;) Maybe sometime, in the far future, we could meet up for coffee in Hendo. I promise to bring cookies and a hug :) You just let me know whenever you want to, even if it's a year from now. I'm here in whatever aspect it is you need/want me to be. Love you girl.