This kid kept me up from 3:30am-5:30! He was bright eyes and mister funny pants at 4:15. He rolled on me, pulled my hair, stuck fingers in my ears... At one point Kevin came to check on him because he was being so loud, Kevin said he was bouncing on me, smiling and playing. Bless it. I was laying there trying my hardest to sleep.
Between 4:30-5am I was praying.
"Lord, and you want me up?"
"Aren't you up right now?"
"Well yes, but don't you want me up, like the Asian girl in pic...."
"No. I just want your moments Beth."
Becoming legalistic is not Jesus. And the constant feeling of failure is not Jesus. Setting rules and expectations and then feeling like a disappointment...Is not Jesus.
That above picture is how I am updating my blog. I update on my phone. One. I suck at spelling...oh you haven't noticed? (Liar). Two. I never really caught on to grammar. ...oh sorry my sweetest editing friends. Three. Updating with kids on your lap and on a phone....well. Nuff said.
But I am doing it.
Praying in the middle of the night while your toddler rolls over you and claps in victory. That is pleasing.
Seeking His face in all moments in the day. Like doing 8 loads of laundry or while scrubbing pee off the toilets for the hundredth time. Yes. That is pleasing. And let me tell you, we are rejecting the feeling of failure and we are stealing back those moments from Satan! Nope. You can not have them!
Tired, weary, exhausted mamas...steal back those moments. Sometimes my prayer is a simple one "Jesus. I can't catch up. I am drowning. They are taking over....but I love you." That is just as pleasing as getting up at 5 with the sun and seeking His face. Y'all. He doesn't want perfection, He just wants us. I am learning this.
His grace is sufficient, His strength is enough!
Happy cleaning toilets day!