Thursday, July 9, 2015

Arise...ok. 6:30am

Well. I crawled out of bed at 6:30am. Our sweet Karsten has been going through something for three years (he Is three....) it's called "I want my mom in my bed" syndrome and it is an epidemic in my house. I have a "strict"....um rule. "No one in mommys bed..." Somehow the other three get this. Kars. Not so much. Most nights I don't stress to much about it. I lay on his bed with a blanket that covers the top part of my body, and a red fox as a pillow and I sleep or lay there while he wrestles with his bed. He is just an unsettled sleeper. We usually do this routine once a night. And then about 6am he ends up in my bed. That I don't mind. We snuggle up and will sleep until 7:30am and it is blissful. Last night he was in our bed at 3am and I let him sleep there until his foot was on Kevin's head and I became the pillow. I reached my max at 4:45 and took him back up to bed. I wanted to be up by 5:45....but 6:30 is what it is. My already plan is to get my quiet moments in and then when he wakes up go back to bed with him....yes. That's my plan. 

Today's Psalm was chapter 6.  

We have been hit lately with some financial turbulence. We are fine, the plane is defiantly not going down- but it's just been hard. Broken vans, broken arms, messed up teeth (that would be me with a  double root canal...), broken trucks, broken dryer (that one turned in our favor...bless the warranty!) and throw in a couple rounds of strep and dr. Appointments...you have yourself and summer of expensive. It always feels so out of control, so desperate, so scary. Like the hits keep hitting. However, it's not the depths of despair, it's life.  And I am learning we just have to keep our eye focused up. And keep on keeping on. God has blessed us beyond our wildest dreams. With the babes, with this house, with the move, our friends, Kevin's work...the list seems to never end, and defiantly out weighs the hits list. 

Today's Pslam did not make me say "yes Lord, hear me in my despair, rescue me from my darkness, send a boat out of my swimming bed of tears..." Because y'all I have been there. I have said those prayers, cried those tears. Felt that despair. Losing my beloved Gram. Losing my sweet babies. And the one I still will at times wrestle with...losing my sweet Daniel. Another story for another time. The reality is, I have felt that. And feeling like that makes these things look like a box of candy. It is rough. It is frustrating, it is enough to give you a bad day with some angry tears....however, It will NOT drown me or send me under. Sorry satan not today. Thank you Jesus...thank you!