July 2th I wrote a blog, it had only been a month after losing Judah so I was in the midst of my grief and healing. At the end of the blog I wrote:
“Right now God has me tightly in the palm of his hand protecting me and loving me, and asking everyone else, except for the people HE has chosen, to please leave the room so that he can bring the young girl who is “asleep” back to life. I am the young girl asleep right now, and in due time, I will rise with a new and vibrant life, and what a story we will have!”
Luke51
When he arrived at the house of Jairus, he did not let anyone go in with him except Peter, John and James, and the child's father and mother. 52Meanwhile, all the people were wailing and mourning for her. "Stop wailing," Jesus said. "She is not dead but asleep."53They laughed at him, knowing that she was dead. 54But he took her by the hand and said, "My child, get up!" 55Her spirit returned, and at once she stood up... "
I am here to say that God has awakened me, I am standing, praising, and for the first time in a long time I am truly living! He has healed me and wiped every tear from my face, he is the healer of my soul! I know that there will be tough days ahead, but I can now look back at where I was and where I am standing now and know that I can make it through!
I am thankful for my journey- and I know that this is not the end; really this is just the beginning. I do know that no matter what God allows into my life, or what Satan tries to send our way, Kevin and I will make it. I can honestly say that on this journey Kevin and I have never stopped praising our God, not for one second!
5 comments:
Beth,
Thank you so much for this post and for July 2nd one. I so needed to hear this right now. I just lost my baby girl 3 1/2 weeks ago. I am really struggling with feeling like I should go back to church, even though I really don't want to or feel like I'm ready. I get really anxious about seeing most people. I am really only comfortable with a few people. I have been wondering if this wrong of me, do I just need to force myself. This morning I had been feeling really guilty that I skipped my ladies Bible study class today. But I think I may have tried to go back too soon. There is one woman in my class that constantly talks about motherhood and her children. Every time she does, it is like a knife in my heart. I love where you said that God is "asking everyone else, except for the people HE has chosen, to please leave the room so that he can bring the young girl who is “asleep” back to life." Those words are so powerful, I feel like God is telling me these words are for me also. They help me to know that I can rest in the palm of His hand and just let Him love me and heal me and stop putting so much pressure on myself.
I feel like I have much more to say to you about how your journey has ministered to me in the midst of my grief, but right now I don't think I am capable of formulating all my thoughts, so some of what I want to say will have to wait until later. I do want to let you know that what you have shared helps me to know that one day God will also awaken me, it helps me to know that one day I will call my due a special day as you did on Jan 25th, and it has helped me so much to go back and read the posts written after you lost Judah.
Beth...
I am so happy for you. Its very obvious that you are healing more and more each day. You completely amaze me...how you have held strong in your praise through it all. Its hard not to blame somebody when things don't go the way we want ...but to remain in adoration and worship is exactly how it should be. Thank you for such a wonderful example of a loving heart!!
Luv ya girlie!
Lib
Amazing, Beth. As always, your words minister to so many in the midst of grief. Thank you for using your gifts and for reaching out to others!
Praise God that he has held you, healed you, and kept you praising him. What a joy and blessing. I just read this post to my husband :)
makingmemom.blogspot.com
Praise God for what he is doing in your and Kevin's lives. I'm so excited to see what he will continue to do.
~~HUGS~~
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