Kevin and I have been walking in many unknowns for the last several months. The unknown if we can ever conceive again, the unknown of when we would start trying again, the unknown of the future and what God is going to do with our lives.
In the midst of so many unknowns it is so hard to find that peace, you can find yourself caught up in the fear of the future that you lose sight of God and the fact that the future is in the palm of His almighty hand.
I have once again gotten sick, after flying in to PA to visit Jamie and Jodi I landed with a sore throat that progressed into a major sinus infection. I can’t seem to find health and I can feel Satan kicking me down with sickness. I know that God hates sickness and I know that in the midst of this sickness He is still in control and allowing me to get stretched beyond a point I ever thought I could go.
In the midst of all the unknowns Kevin and I are constantly seeking peace, seeking His voice, His hand, His plan. Although it is so hard at times we refuse to do anything less, and sometimes when I can’t seem to find that peace all I do is praise Him for who is, knowing and believing that He has great things planned for Kevin and I and our future!
The night before we found out we were losing Judah I was laying awake anticipating the ultra sound we were going to have the next day. We were anticipating finding out if we were going to have twins, it was a great possibility since my levels we so high. I can remember I kept asking God “God what will it be, one or two?” I can remember Gods response so clearly, “Beth, just wait and see what I have for you!” This has been a constant response as we seek God through all the unknowns.
I do truly believe with all my heart that God has the most perfect baby picked out for Kevin and I, I truly believe that God has the best in store for Kevin and I. Although I don’t know how it will come about, or how God will write our story, I do know I can expect great things from God.
So in the midst of all the unknowns right now please pray that Kevin and I would constantly hear God’s voice and nothing else, that we would have peace that passes understanding and that would stand on the promise to expect great things from God!
4 comments:
Beth, I'm excited to be on this journey with you. I know it has been very hard, but I can't wait to see what God has in store for you my friend!
God does always have the best in store for us....but its in His time not ours. I know that I tend to be very impatient if I don't see it right away. I have to constantly remind myself that He knows better because He can see the entire picture.
I'm so proud of you, love you!!
God's timing is just impossible to understand...I guess that is what makes it so wonderful. I'll be praying for you, and know that I'm too struggle to hear God's voice and know that peace in the midst of all this.
hey Beth
God does have great things for you! Even when it seems like His promises will never come to pass and His timing is totally off, it is completely on.
And He will redeem the pain you are experiencing now in ways you will never expect and one day you WILL hold your first baby in your arms and rejoice.
I believe that for you, my new bloggie friend xxx
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