Yes. Yes. This is what thinking...and did you catch that (not doing, or have been doing, or even trying...)? THINKING people! About getting up has done to me. I'm not joking. Just the plain thought of arising blissfully out of bed at 5:30 or 5:45 or damit even 6am leaves me...well....leaves me crazy, insane, and with a not so slight twitch. So where does that leave me? Well. Free!
Serousily freed up. And it happened last week, and has been continuing to happen. And conformation? Oh from friends, and texts, and people along the way who have encouraged me NOT to
Get up early! Yup! Even those people who are in my book "super spiritual," and "totally have it together" and "top notch, right hand to Jesus Himself" kind of people.... Have been encouraging.
Now. I have some work. I defiantly feel like the early morning, calling in my spirit was Jesus. I don't doubt one bit in my mind that the days I got up early were needed and wanted. I don't doubt that He will call me to it again. But here's the thing. For this season I actually believe in my heart He called me to it to fail at it. Yup. And insert super spiritual Bible scripture that I should have but don't.".instead a quote from the book of Bethisms chapter 5,000..."
But I do think of Abraham and Isaac. Climbing the mountain and every step thinking he was going to sacrifice his son... God needed Abraham to submit. And I am by no means comparing my early morning (ok maybe a little...come on sleep...son....same thing...) to The sacrifice of a son...but more the essence of the story. Everyday we are asked to lay down our fleshly desires for the desires of God, our wants for His...all for His glory...
I feel as though God wanted me to try. Show Him I would and then he released me of it. And the whole time knowing I would fail miserably. I needed to do it to also come to this point. Getting up early only to fall asleep in the chair...or getting frustrated with my kids everytime they wake up in the middle of the night, or being frustrated all day long because I am exhausted...is it worth it?! No. No. No.
It is not.
I still need to figure out incorporating quiet times into my daily routine...with kids...and training for my tri...with kids...and being on this "spiritual transformation..." With kids, because that is MY REALITY! "With kids" is my beautiful, wonderful, prayed for, reality.
Today I put everyone down for naps. They needed it desperately the kids were crazy exhausted. And so today I got a sweet surrendering moment. Thank you Jesus. And in three days school starts. My life will shift, routines will begin...life will change. And me with it.
Until then. I am just a simple mom, with a crazy crew, and a whole lot of Jesus grace bursting within. May you read this and either feel way more spiritual
and put together then me (yay you 😊😊), or a little less crazy then me,
Or comforted by the fact that you are not alone in this journey. Or maybe you read the first line and saw the picture and moved on...probably what I would of done!
His grace is sufficient, His strength enough, and His love abundant!