Sunday, November 22, 2009

Is She Really Coming?

I find this question so interesting. My Sweet Girl, Liesl - Jaden's birth mom will be joining us along with her brother for Thanksgiving. When people learn of this I am amazed at the shocked reaction that I get, however, I do realize that if I was standing on the other side I would most likely give the same reaction. The shocked reaction is usually followed by "are you nervous?" If I answer "no" I am lying. My flesh, of course is a bit nervous, for Liesl, for Jaden and for me as a first time mom.

I relive the day Jaden was born…. I can remember hovering over Sweet Girl as she pushed life into this world. I will never forget the look on Liesl's face when they held up her son for the first time, with tears flowing down her face all she could say was "he is beautiful..." and he was. I remember falling into our amazing nurse - Beth's - arms and whispering to her, "pray for her, please pray for her..." I remember following Jaden over to the bed and watching them wrap this sweet bundle up- I whispered a sweet welcome to him and then watch as the placed Jaden into Liesl's arms- I stepped back watching a moment of such intense love I thought I would melt. Liesl gazing upon Jaden with awe and disbelief that she brought this little one into the world and she had chose life for him.

I knew at that moment that nothing could separate the bond between a mother and a child- I don't care who you are. God had chosen to place life inside this young girl. This is where the impact of infertility still rears its ugly head- the question of "why?" But I cannot question God, I know His ways are not our ways and I rest in his goodness. For our journey I see what a gift our little Jaden is in Liesl's life- in a way he in return is offering her life. Sweet Girl is choosing to make better choices so that she can make Jaden proud of her. Jaden will always be proud of her because Kevin and I will always remind him of the amazing choice she made not only in having him but giving him to us. I am so very proud of Liesl.

My flesh may struggle some with the thought of another women in Jaden's life, as a mother you want to be the most important, the only one, but that is not what God has asked of my life as a mother. God has asked me to become a first time mom through adoption, and I am honored that he has chosen Kevin and I to raise Jaden. I am so thankful I am submissive to the Holy Spirit, for when he overtakes I am overcome with Joy that Jaden has sweet Liesl in his life.

You will hear us call Liesl and Tyler (her brother) our family. This could not be any truer if my mom and dad were their mom and dad. I cannot explain the love we have for them; I cannot explain the bond that has formed. We are not "acting" as a family, or just "saying" we are a family, in our eyes and I KNOW God's eyes we are family. Liesl is really coming for Thanksgiving and I am beyond excited because I know when it is a God story, as this one is, then it is going to be an AMAZING week with them because it is nothing of us and everything of HIM.


Andrea said...

Oh Beth, your words always touch me, so beautiful and heartfelt. I always leave your blog with such inspiration, even on the bluest days.

You have embraced this situation with such grace and honored God every step of the way. May all life's blessings always be yours.

Happy Thanksgiving

Libby said...

By BFF...I love ya lady! And I am so in awe of you guys. I can't wait to hear the whole story.

Jamie :) said...

So proud of the way you've humbly surrendered your plans, dreams, and life to God Beth. Your journey constantly reminds me that it is amazing what can happen when your palms are constantly open. It seems as though dreams you never thought you had are coming true. And you're right looking through human eyes this all seems so crazy, but God looks at it and says it is beautiful! Have a Happy Thanksgiving - you have so much to be thankful for. And I am so thankful for you! :)

Bernardeena said...

What a lovely post. I hope you have a fantastic thanksgiving together.

Stacey said...

Beth, this sweet post brought tears to my eyes! I know this will be a very memorable holiday season for you and Kevin. I hope you have a wonderful week of Thanksgiving with your family! Love ya.

Hillary said...

I think I leave every post of yours in tears. Your story of God's faithfulness and your submission to him is inspiring. You constantly help me to reorient my perspective - God did not necessarily call us to an "easy" life, but he makes our burden light and fills us with more joy imaginable when we are walking in his ways.

Happy Thanksgiving!