Friday, May 8, 2009

Turning the Bend in the Journey

How do I even begin this post? To describe all that is happening in our lives is overwhelming and miraculous and so much to take in. I am truly having a hard time forming words around all that we are going through, thinking and feeling. I guess the first thing I have been pondering lately is this blog.

I have talked about it before, the journey of this blog, how it was first created to keep in contact with the middle school students I was working with. It was a way for the 300+ students to get a chance to get to know me and my daily struggles, it remained that for about half a year. Then when we moved and lost our first baby it quickly became a place for me to post what was going on with Kevin and me and our lives and journey of moving to NC and trying for our second. After we lost Judah it became a blog about grief, infertility and trying to walk the journey giving God all the glory.

In the last couple of years of my life I have written 233 posts, had over 10,000 hits, and linked up with friends I would have never met. This blog has truly been a hidden treasure from God that has become a best friend. So now that my journey is taking a turn into parenting do I close this blog down? Honestly I know how happy many of you were for me, but I do know the boat some of you are in, I know that there are girls who have been trying for 7 years with many miscarriages, I know that there are girls going through IVF right now, those of you who are pregnant, those of you who have been trying so long and have decided to take a break, those of you who have been waiting for your baby through adoption much longer then Kevin and I, and those of you I don’t know much about. I do know that some of you heard that I was adopting rejoiced for me but also felt the pain in your heart as God has called you to wait a little longer.

So, I know that now this blog is about to be the journey into adopting, the ups and downs, fears, joy and then one day about the moment I held Jaden for the first time. I invite you a long, but I can’t promise that for some of you it may be hard to read, and I understand because I know that feeling; I know that I had to chose not read a few blogs because it surfaced my pain too much. I will promise to always be sensitive, to remember the wide variety of readers, but know I understand if you must take a break from reading. I encourage you to do whatever you need to do to walk this journey- it is different for every person and you must walk it the way God created you to walk it. Just know I am praying for you and looking forward to seeing your prayers answered.


Stacey said...

This is just my opinion, but some of the most beautiful blogs that I read are written by women who have walked this difficult road and come out on the other side (one way or another). The unique thing, though, is that it doesn't erase what you've been through. All of that shapes you into a new person, and one who still has a ministry to others who are hurting, or hoping to conceive or adopt. I know you, Beth, and I know that you will always be sensitive to this struggle. That is just the person that you are.

I don't want you to feel you must ever hold back from posting about your joy over becoming a mother! But those who know your heart will know that you've been there through some incredibly tough times. You've known grief and loss and pain, and you've known joy and healing. I rejoice with you and I'll keep reading as long as you keep writing. Count me in. :)

Hillary said...

I look forward to rejoicing with you as you enter this new phase of your journey. I found so much encouragement in this post in the simple truth that God does have a journey for each one of us, and I want to be on the path He has set for me. Even if it involves waiting and pain. Thank you for your understanding!

Libby said...

That was a very sweet note...I had tears in my eyes. You have such a way with words, you can't stop the story now...we need to hear the happy ending!!
Love ya lady!