I always want to live my life as honest and open as I
can. I have always felt called to this,
my hearts greatest desire and I truly believe it is the way God created and
intended me to be. I went through a period in my life when I was very discouraged
to live my life like this, that it in fact was wrong. And I let myself believe
that because I let their words become greater and stronger and louder then Gods
words. I don’t think I realized the depth of that lie and just how much I had
lost myself until I moved away. It is so
beautiful how God takes you on the journey, with all the twists and turns and
pits and valley’s but he is never far, ever present, and always speaking…if we
listen. I am trying hard to listen. I fail daily, I parent on my own rather the relying on God, and I spend more time scrolling Facebook then I do studying His words. I know these things. God is using my children as a mirror into my own lack of self control, and selfishness...A daily lesson for sure.
As this Christmas season approached, and my children
(especially the 5 year olds) have really started to understand Christmas, both
Kevin and I wanted to make sure we tried our hardest to stay as centered and focused
on Christ as we possibly could. With that said, it was also our hearts desire
that we do not rob our children of the innocents and imaginative hearts that
GOD created inside of them. We went through many debates and came to the conclusion
that with our family we would not “do santa.” (Introduction to Gabe).
Now let me make something clear. We do not do
santa but we have not sat our 5 years olds down and said
“Santa is NOT REAL” in fact we have never spoken those words. We just don’t
make a big deal about it and try our hardest to make a big deal of Christ. We
however do not in any way want to take away from families who have chosen to do
santa. Nor do we place judgment or think less of families that have chosen to embrace the fun and imaginative mind of santa. Santa is not an enemy of Christmas for Christians. Santa does not take
away from Christ. Santa is not “lying” or “deceiving” our children. Santa is not the issue. Our human flesh,
nature, and sinfulness of the fallen world is. Santa is pretending. When we play with our children,
we become ninjas, fighters, dinosaurs, firefighters, jet pilots, or race car
drivers. We give them be best experience that we can because they are children.
I tell my little boys all the time “you have best super power ever, your
imagination. You can be, do and create ANYTHING with your mind and believe it
is real.” I want them to embrace that, because we lose it all too soon. And when
we do, there is no getting it back. Santa is pretending. Can it be over
done? Over kill? Absolutely but that is sin, the sinful nature in all of us.
I love this quote by Charles Dickens “It is good to be children sometimes, and never better than at
Christmas, when its mighty Founder was a child himself.”
Let kids be kids. God created their sweet minds to embrace
the imaginative , creative, unbelievable, making it believable things.
It all came clear to me the other day. I sat a bin out for
my boys “from Gabe” they were to fill it with some toys for children who may
not have any toys. They did “ok” I had to do a lot of talking and explaining
and encouraging. But whatever they are 5. That was not my issue. My issue was
the disrespect I was receiving from my boys. Their attitudes and talk was out
of control. Their expression of entitlement was overwhelming me. I had come to the end of myself. I sent them
to bed at 6:30pm that night and they were still fussing, fighting, screaming,
and not listening. I found myself at their level (which is the worse and I am
frequently doing) yelling “this is NOT what Christmas is about, we are suppose
to be kind, and happy, and sweet…” I then took the bin that Gabe left and
several other baskets into their room and took every.single.toy. out of their
sight. I wish I could write in such a
way that you could literally hear the screaming and crying and sheer panic
coming from my children. I hid their
toys. I also told them that Gabe would be “still” for the remainder of the
week. And I left their room.
That night I was exhausted and desperate and called Kevin
(who by the way was out of town…) and he was encouraging and supportive as always.
But my heart was still heavy. What were we doing wrong with our kids? I have
stirred and pondered this question and gone before the Lord about it. And once
again was humbled by the realization that this is me every day, all the time
with my Father. My flesh so often taking the lead in my
life, and yet at
Christmas I expect it not to? No, reality of it is, although Christmas is a miraculous
time of year, and such a sweet time to stop and remember, we are not to do it “one
time a year.” The problem is that I expect my children to already understand
this but instead I am realizing that I need to be teaching them all year long. Showing them. And I try. But I fail. And because this
is such a beautiful sweet time of the year, this is when our flesh rises up the
strongest, and our battle is stronger because SATAN hates this time of year. We
somehow forget his lurking and prowling this time of year, as though he has
gone away to let us celebrate the One he hates the most…He hated it when Christ
was born and he hates it today. And I believe, again I am no scholar...but I believe satan stirs more because it is the "one time a year" that we stop and remember and celebrate the most. So the battle for our children’s heart is
stronger and harder. And through all the giving, presents, lights, and special
Christmas-everything, we are fighting against our flesh, our sin, our nature to
rise above and see it for what it really is. Our savior, being born, to die.
The battle is every day, but that “one time a year” we are failing our kids.
Our battle is every day, not just Christmas. Our battle is every day, and we
need to be teaching our kids this.
Santa is pretending, really at the end of the day it does
not matter if you do santa, or elf on the shelf, a tree or no tree, none of it
matters, and the greater issue lays at the foundation of our hearts. Are we
teaching our kids that Christ is the focus “one time a year’ or are we teaching
our children that Christ is the focus EVERY.SINGLE. DAY?
Needless to say, my kids still haven’t got their toys back. And
Gabe has sat in one spot. We will resume soon, because I don’t want to miss out
on the precious, sweet, innocents of my children. But I am realizing that from
this moment forward, we are going to be celebrating and teaching my children
about Christ in a new light. He will not be celebrated just at Christmas, we
will not just be nice..at Christmas…we will not just give exceedingly…at
Christmas…we will not do acts of kindness…at Christmas….we will start doing
this EVERY day. So when Christmas comes, yet it is special, and yes it is fun, hopefully my kids will not see a difference in the way we are living, or being, or
doing because it will be our lives everyday not just…at Christmas.
So enjoy good ol’ Saint Nick and have fun with elf of the
shelf…but remember…let’s celebrate CHRIST our Savior, everyday….
