Friday, March 21, 2014

Blogging Again?

Could it be that I could once again start writing? I have prayed for this day to come, a release in my heart to share the joys...and chaos...and insanity of my life with my crazy crew. And whatever the reason might be, I have a freedom to share. I am thankful. My last post written over a year ago was the heartache I felt, of my joy being someone's sorrow. It seemed so wrong, and even today I know my words may hurt another’s heart. I can't change that, but I can give you freedom to read or not read (not that you really "need" that freedom)and know that if you chose to not follow my journey it comes with great understanding. I so understand.
In the last 4 years I have had 4 crazy, energetic, never stopping (not even for a moment, really not even in sleep...) fun, and entertaining BOYS. We were blessed with 4 boys in just less than 4 years. Through adoption and birth, my journey took a major twist that still leaves me breathless (physically and emotionally) at times. I am thankful, so very thankful. My life is full of beautiful and fun, and sometimes funny stories of everything from adoption, to butt paste art on my walls.
 I find myself caught up in a world of keeping up, comparing and often times feeling like I have somehow somewhere missed the mark on parenting. I don't feed my kids only organic foods, I am not constantly on my knees in prayer (although I do find myself heaped over in complete exhaustion crying out for God to "intervene..."), we don't do crafts by Pinterest all the time, I am not always organized, my kids stay in PJS a lot, we eat Chick-fil-a like its free, they don't wash their hands "every single time" they do anything, we watch a lot of TV, and I promise you my 4 year olds understand the I-Phone better than I do. That’s just a glimps of so much more that is real...and what I am coming to realize is that is not only real- it is ok, better then's great. I don't want to compare or keep up, I don't want my life to look perfect or like I have it all together because I can promise you I don't. I find beauty in the imperfectness that is me because my perfect Creator meets me right where I am (crumpled on the floor) and fills in my gaps better than any vitamin, smoothie, or best organizing kit you can build out of ply-wood and glue! And it is beautiful!
The next step in our journey is a great wonderful, crazy, scary move from North Carolina to Georgia. It will be pulling us away from comforts and security to a lot of unknowns. We are leaving our family, and friends, and the house I brought ALL my babes home too. And it is hard. I know without doubt this is the best next step but the unknowns are scary and the reality very sobering. Kevin will be taking a position as a manager that will require him to travel 25% of the time. This will be new for us, but the pluses of moving and the call on our hearts really outweigh the fears that come with it. So I am thankful, excited, and scared. “You have to climb the rocks to see the mountain view….” Thanks for climbing with us once again! Here’s to some fun blogging!!!!


I Believe in Miracles said...

Congratulations on 4 boys Beth!! Good luck with the move and the new transitions.

Stacey said...

Love the gorgeous faces of your 4 sons! And I'm so happy to read your blog again. As I read it, my girls and I are still in our pjs and they are watching TV. And it's okay! Life is full of (some) perfect moments and (lots of) imperfect moments. And in them all we do the best we can and we fully rely on our Lord for strength. Love your sweet family. I'm always in awe of how far we've come since we met face to face. Praying for all of you as you get ready for the big move!

Kristin said...

Oh friend so happy you are writing again. If you're like me it's therapeutic. I'm looking forward to still feeling like you're here in nc since I can read about your journey. Thank you for always being open and transparent. You have no idea the comfort and encouragement your stories have given me since I became pregnant with Garrett. You make me feel sane and remind me it's more than Ok to be imperfect