So here's the thing...it is hard. Anyone who ever tells you that this whole "homeschooling thing is easy" is lying. LYING. Although, to be honest I have never heard anyone say that homeschooling was easy or for the weak at heart. Rewarding....YES (well...maybe, ask me at different moments and receive different answers.). We are finishing up our first week, how? Well because I decided long ago that if I was going to homeschool and I was going to be with my children A.L.L. day I was going to schedule in some perks. So if you send your kids to school a perk is that you have 7 hours. For me, my perk is that I am scheduling Fridays as light days. We will use it to catch up and move on. I need it, they need it, y'all the world needs it.
But here are a few things I come away with. I can say all day long that I want to live in a glass house, but I live with 5 other people who don't want, or know yet if they want, to live in a glass house. Their lives are their stories to tell and I can't showcase their struggles to the world. I surely wouldn't want that. So, don't let my insta stories fool you. It is hard, it is raw, there are tears and banging heads and clashing moments. We are figuring it out, we are forging our way through to what feels right and normal for us.
One day at a time. This has to be my motto. I can't think ahead, I can't think about future, I can barely think through to tomorrow. Today. That is all I got and I have to be ok and content in it.
It doesn't look like what I thought. But isn't this true of most things? What we picture...is never what it really will look like. In some ways it is better, they do learn, they do listen, we do have sweet moments...but when we came down on Monday morning and started our day with a huge meltdown .2 seconds in...whoa I was not expecting that. Its okay though, I am learning to have grace, give grace and receive grace for each moment. It doesn't have to look a certain way... Grace....coffee...repeat.
Its to early for me to say "I love it...or I hate it.." And maybe I will feel differently each and every day, but I will say this, "I am suppose to do this." And my reality that this is exactly what Jesus is asking me to do did not come because of a moment of "wow this is good" or one of my children saying "Wow mom this homeschooling thing is AMAZING.." in reality we have more "I hate this..." from them then anything. It came because of a true moment with Jesus when It became clear just why I am doing this for each one of my boys. I saw it and Jesus clearly said "This. This is why."
I told Kevin this morning, I know they will learn, but this isn't about what they learn this next school year, this is about investing in my boys hearts in ways I know will impact their future and our future relationship for years to come.
And lastly the thing is. I am tired. There is not enough coffee in this world. However, my two littles were home with me this week for school, they start next week and I think that will change a lot of things. Can I also say I might be tired because we got a puppy...ha, a puppy and he has been just as demanding as the kids. Bless it to my tired and weary soul Jesus.
